It’s my blog and I can rant if I want to

They say writing your feelings down helps so let’s see if it actually works. There’s a lot of stuff on my mind and it’s not simple things like oh how’s the weather or what shall i eat today, a lot of things have been annoying me the last year or. Some might say oh you’re grumpy all the time but that’s not the case usually I’m only grumpy later on in the day, usually after I’ve been reading all the shit on Facebook and some in real life things.

I don’t think some of you really understand how the world works. Racism has always been around in some countries worse than others it’s not something recent. Poverty does exist in your country and more than you know, yes even Dutch people are dependant on food banks, charity and in some cases really good friends. People have been getting away with rape for as long as humans have been around. Women still don’t have equal rights and pay. Don’t even get me started about the LGBTQ people you’d think in 2017 they could finally be themselves without getting attacked. ISIS has been around since early 2000 maybe even before that but only know when they attack in Europe we’re suddenly all full of care.

So here’s a (huge) list of things that irk me.

All this whining about movies/series and their cast. Seriously I remember a time where people went oh Tom Cruise shitty actor and moved on with their life. Bloody hell all this crap about the Dark Tower, Wonder Woman and soon Star Trek or Ghost in the Shell. Whitewashing isn’t so new you know, hell if you actually had bothered looking around you would’ve noticed it way sooner. I’m not saying whitewashing is a good thing but it’s been around for so long and everyone stood around and tolerated it but now with social media the urge arises to vent. Here’s an idea join a rally against it, don’t just sit there typing all tough, do something!

Racism pisses me off ever since I was old enough to know what it was. Do I make racist jokes yes but I joke about everything it’s my way of dealing with things. Just because a person comes from Syria to your country doesn’t mean they are here to steal your jobs,wives and children, most of them are fleeing from an actual dictator who’s torturing and killing them. I come from a family who got “lucky” in the war, my family had to flee  Indonesia because of the Japanese. When they got back in the northern part of the Netherlands the Germans had already arrived luckily we were quite rich back then and nobody had to suffer. Also 1 of my grandfathers supposedly hung out with the Germans a lot I have no idea what his role exactly was since he died way before i was born. People from different countries have different habits it doesn’t make them less of a person than you it’s just a different style of life. Not every refugee is here for the money… When it comes to the money part let me explain a few things. They are not getting free things! They get a loan from the city/government which is around 5000 euro to decorate their house and get other things like baby strollers or phones. Yes they get welfare in the beginning till they can sustain themselves just like you, welfare isn’t such a huge amount I see people going around saying oh look at the welfare they get it’s 2k euro a month bla bla, bitch no!

Welfare numbers are as follows;

1333 euro for a family regardless of the size of it

933 euro for a single parent regardless of the amount of kids

If you’re an adult and share a house with other adults related or unrelated and regardless of the fact if someone works or even helps pay rent the numbers decrease really quick. I share a house (not voluntarily) with my mom who had a stroke and can not work and my brother who works but doesn’t contribute anything. I get 533 euro a month and so does my mom so that’s a whopping 1066 euro a month. Average living costs for a month are around 900 now this is just rent, water and electricity this isn’t insurance and all the other things you actually have to pay for. This goes for all people who share a house with 2 other adults related or not so it really isn’t that much

The oh I’m so sick every 5 minutes posts..

Look I get it you’ve got the flu or you sprained your ankle it’s annoying but do you really need to post about it every damn day? I know some of my friends on Facebook have serious illnesses and they barely complain about it all. Am I saying stop complaining, no not at all but you could tone it down a little.


Yes I am complaining right now but it’s been building up for months maybe even longer. I really try to complain as little as possible since it’s annoying. Instead of complaining all the time try to see the good things around you.

Which brings me to my next point. I’ve been battling depression for well over 20 years now and I’m well aware that I am negative most of the time, it’s really hard to stay positive if everything is so damned negative around you. Everything is an issue for people. Seriously y’all complain and get depressed about the dumbest things, though you might say oh you’re playing my problems down it’s not so, I’m just saying instead of getting all worked about armpit hair look around and count your blessings. I have people around me who have everything a job, loving family, good health, a house, a pet etc. yet I see them being depressed about such menial things. Now of course having a dent in your car can be really serious for some but from my point of view it’s just not working.

I’ve had to deal with shit all my life, my parents never wanted me (and they let me know regularly), parents getting a divorce, my dad fucking anything with a pulse,(I’ve had 13 stepmoms that I can remember), my mom has been depressed since 1974, all my friends literally all my friends are dead sure I made new ones over the years but all my friends from my teen years are dead, I had to bury everyone. I’ve had years with 3 to 4 funerals, I’ve been sexually abused multiple times, did my rapist get punished? Hell naw he didn’t even get arrested because apparently what i was wearing was egging him on. My health has been shit for 10 years now and when I mean shit i mean i can’t even eat normal anymore. I have chronic headache, IBS, PCOS and a whole list of other things. I almost died in 2015 and spent the entire week on the ICU in isolation alone, yeah that’s right nobody visited most people didn’t even bother calling. Through all this I am still fighting to get better mentally and physically.

I’ve seen all those suicide awareness posts and people saying oh if you need help I’m here truth is you’re not nobody picked up the fact that I was about to jump off a bridge 2 weeks ago. You’re all too busy with getting upset about Ed Sheeran in GoT or Dr.Who being a woman. Thing is don’t post things like that it’s not helping anyone and neither do those balloons bring back a kid or some silly status doesn’t raise awareness for anything. If you want to help talk to people if you’re wanting to raise awareness about whatever it is don’t be vague say it!

The whole idea of Facebook is connecting people from every part of the world. Thing is lately Facebook is only worsening my depression with all the crap I have to put up with, whether it’s random nudes, sexual propositions or random authors asking if I feel like promoting their books. While I do enjoy most of the friendships some also really take their toll on me, there’s so much negativity.

What I’m asking is really simple try being less negative, enjoy life, stop arguing on the internet, hug a loved one, stop getting upset about meaningless things, enjoy life it could be over before you know it. In the end you’re only getting worked up over things you probably can’t change at least not by arguing about it on Facebook

p.s This is not a cry for help I don’t need any messages or more friends. I’d have posted this on Facebook but I don’t need all the negative/positive comments I just needed to write it down




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